Just a gurl
imjustagurl.comArchive for cervical cancer
Abby Normal
After years and years of annual visits to my OBGYN, this time my pap test comes out abnormal. Get a voice message from my doctor while at work. Try calling back. Get voice mail. Leave a message. Doctor calls back while I’m driving home from work. I pull over with my heart beating 100 MPH.
First reaction–denial.
Can’t be. What is this she is saying? Detected slight abnormality? Test for HPV is positive. What is HPV anyway? Oh. (Flashback to Guardasil commercials.) Yeah, heard of it.
May go away on its own? Pretty common? Whew. HPV can cause cervical cancer. Huh? (Grandma died of cervical cancer. Oh s**t!) Come back in four to six months. OR re-test? Doctor is filling out our adoption paperwork. Oh s**t (again). Recommends to test sooner and do a biopsy to show adoption agency we’re aggressively following up. Oh, ok. Ok, let’s do that.
Second reaction–anger.
Not scared. Just angry. Frustrated. Unbelievable work situations. Topped off by THIS! AND now, while we’re starting the adoption process. Why now? Who knows? Why does anything happen?
Wait. Wait. Wait.
On September 1, I’ll go under the microscope. Snip for biopsy. Wait. Wait. Wait.
The perils of being a gurl! More later. For now, trying to concentrate on EVERYTHING ELSE.
Just a gurl 